Friday, November 23, 2012

114* our last thanksgiving

   the only possible way for me to make it through yesterday was to think as little as possible about past thanksgivings because it would have been impossible to function if I had thought about them.
    
   as a result, I have been reflecting a lot today about our last thanksgiving together. it was during the time I was having health problems. I had only been on medication for a couple weeks so I wasn't completely well yet. that is one of the reasons I didn't cook; however, I did make a turkey that saturday. Kenny helped with the stuffing and the basting of the turkey. and I managed to make my very special candied yams- my Grandma Tanis taught me how to make them when I was a young teen. we made many thanksgiving dinners together. 
   anyway, back to our last thanksgiving. Kenny and I had pumpkin pie with cool whip for breakfast. then he drove me over to his Grandpa Ken's because I wanted to visit him--by then I knew Ken had cancer. Ken was the best man I ever knew. Even though Mike( the boys' dad) and I had been divorced for years, Ken always invited me over for the holidays. I went quite often when the boys were young; however my appearances were less frequent over the past years. when we got to the house, we found out Ken was asleep so I didn't get to visit with him. Kenny drove me home, then he went back to his grandpa's, but he made me promise I would return later before he left. Vincent was already there because he had spent the night before. most of the day I spent on the couch because I wasn't feeling well.

   late in the afternoon, I went to Ken's house. when I walked in the door people noticed I didn't feel well. I heard I looked terrible, which I'm sure was true. the house was full with Kenny's cousins and their families there as well as my in-laws. Kenny was very happy to see me- he was smiling a lot. mostly everyone had already eaten so I had a little food and spent a little time with the family. I gave a round of hugs, then went to the outside house to hang out with the boys. Vincent was out there, then Kenny came along. Vincent was watching videos about the Willy Wonka movies and watching the original "chocolate factory" movie. he showed Kenny and I some of the reviews, they were really quite funny. then we all watched the Johnny Depp version of the Wonka movie. I fell asleep for a bit during the movie but it was still wonderful to be there together. I remember Kenny was extremely affectionate that night-giving lots of hugs and sitting next to me as I laid down on his mattress watching the movie. he must have known it would be our last thanksgiving together. it was the only time we ever hung out like that together at his grandpa's, just the three of us all by ourselves. he and Vincent stayed there that night and I drove home and went to sleep on the couch with Ravenne. 
    that was our last thanksgiving together- I remember thinking it was odd that Kenny was very insistent that I make it to Ken's that day. on other years he would ask, and if I said 'no' he was okay with it. that was the only time he made it clear he would be very unhappy with me if I didn't show up so I went despite my lack of energy. of course, now I am immensely thankful that I did go and have those few precious hours with my sons together. it is a beautiful last thanksgiving memory.

until tomorrow...

Element of the day (day 114)
#112) Uub- Ununbium-] radioactive    
Discovered in 1996 by S.Hoffman, V.Ninov, F.Hessberger, P.Ambruster and G.Munzenberg and others, Germany.
Highly radioactive metal. It has never been found in nature. Chemistry is believed to be similar to mercury.  

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