112* a gesture of love

I am currently listening to the soundtrack for breaking dawn part 2--yay, super yay,, its fabulous!!

Finally, six days after opening I got to see the movie! :) Now, I am not going to go on about how I am a super twilight fan; although I am. I've read every book- twice--and I'm about to start my 3rd go around with those stories.

A couple weeks ago, I was listening to the twilight soundtrack, my favorite song from it caught my attention: #11. Naturally, it got me thinking about November being the 11th month of the year and the date of Kenny's death 11/29/11. I do find it interesting the way numbers have so many coincidences in my life.

There is a Kenny story to go along with my twilight fascination. Last fall, during the period of time when I was instructed to "rest and stay stress free" and I was doing lots of nothing and getting sad and bored>>my adorable son went out and bought me the first three movies from the twilight saga. It was an extremely sweet gesture coming from Kenny, especially because he wasn't a big fan of movies in general and, even more so because he thought the entire twilight series was silly. It was late in the evening when he came home from Target and handed me the plastic bag containing the movies. He didn't tell me what was in the bag. However, he had asked me about the movies-> I had been re-reading the books. It think I had just read the first two or three and was talking about how much I liked the movies even though they weren't true replicas of the books. Anyway, we had been talking about them. Then he surprised me with all three at once! However, I wasn't able to persuade him to watch any of them with me-> not even a minute! He actually laughed at the suggestion- a true, "no way that's gonna happen" Kenny laugh. So, even though it was late I stayed up till 3am and watched all the movies consecutively. It was such a pick-me-up. I am extremely grateful to Kenny for that. 

note to Kenny 11/21/11

breaking dawn part 1 came out on Nov. 18} eleven days before Kenny died-there's that number 11 again and I didn't even know it. I wanted to see it very badly. Kenny kept telling me I should go see it even though I was still not feeling that great. He thought it would make me feel better and he was right. On the Monday after it was released I decided to go see it. Vincent was gone and Kenny was in school.


 I left Kenny a note on the white board, which is a practice of mine when I'm going somewhere and the boys are sleeping or not home. It was the last note I ever wrote to Kenny. I didn't erase the note for many months after Kenny died. It was very difficult for me to do; however, I made myself erase it. I didn't want to lose the memory completely so I took a picture of the white board before I erased it. Then I made a notation on the bottom of the board. To this day, that notation remains. I will keep it there as long as I have the board because in part I want to keep every part of Kenny I can and partly because it is associated with a good memory Kenny gave to me.

There's another part to this story. I call it the Tommy Twilight story. I'm not sure if it was that night or another night. I was getting ready to watch or was just beginning to watch twilight when Tommy came over. I was sitting on the couch and Tommy strolled into the living room. Immediately he started teasing me about the movie. He was relentless, laughing at me, although he was only kidding. Kenny heard him and stormed from his room to the living room rather quickly and loudly. In a stern, strong tone he said "don't make fun of my mom"--and he was totally serious. Tommy apologized and said he was kidding, and the whole thing blew over; but it was heartwarming that Kenny came to my defense so enthusiastically. I recall Tommy telling the story at Kenny's goodbye service, probably because it was still fresh in his mind. Then he went on to say lovely things about our family-} an exchange of love. I like remembering about that little happening in my life. It is a reminder of the special relationship Kenny and I had>and even though it hurts much and re-ignites the missing pain I smile through the tears as I store the memory in my heart to think of again another time.

Until tomorrow...

Element of the day (day 112)
#110) Ds- Darmstadtium- radioactive   
Discovered in 1994 by S.Hoffman, V.Ninov, F.Hessberger, P. Armbruster and G.Munzenberg and others, Germany. Highly radioactive metal. It has never been found in nature. Chemistry is believed to be similar to platinum.