101* heaven, dogs, and honey

Do you remember the movie 'All dogs go to heaven?' We used to watch it all the time, even Kenny liked the movie. I'm wondering if its true, actually I really want to know--do dogs go to heaven?? I have heard of people who believe that. I asked Kenny--I wish I could hear an answer. I wish I could see for myself.

Yesterday, my mother-in-law(Jonell) had to put one of their dogs to sleep. Her name was Maggie- I called her Maggie May. She was one of Ken's dogs (father-in-law who died in June). Maggie was a very cute dog-she looked a lot like Ravenne and barked like Ravenne too. Ken and Jonell said it all the time-those dogs could be sisters. I'm really sad Maggie is dead; although I know it was the right thing to do because she was sick and depressed. I will miss seeing her when I go to their house. She was always very friendly with me- I checked on her and Buddy (other dog) when Jonell was out of town. I would rub her head and nose everytime she came to greet me; even though she never was the same after Ken died. She stopped eating and cried often  when she ran to the gate. I pray they are together now-- I truly wish with all my heart that dogs have souls that can find us on the other side. I  hope she is running and playing, barking away with happiness in heaven.

And I hope Ravenne and I will be together on the other side when it is time. She is doing okay for now but she has a tumor that is growing inside her and I know that it will affect her breathing soon. She's already had surgery to have the tumor removed once before, but it grew back and I do not want to have her go through any further surgeries so I am watching and waiting for it to start affecting her health. I know then that I will have to put her to sleep also. I am dreading when that day will come.

Sometimes I think my life is some excruciating experiment on how much loss I can live through. Well I'm done- I CAN'T LIVE THROUGH ANY MORE LOSS!!! At this time I think when Ravenne goes so will I. I feel like my heart can't take any more of these intense losses. Its more tears and sadness again, not that any of it has ever gone away. Heartache, heartache, heartache--when will it stop?!!? 

Until tomorrow...
  

HONEY BEAR

{{{> RANDOM TOPIC >}}}
   <~ ~ ~ honey bear ~ ~ ~> 
Just about a year ago, Kenny came home from city college with a gift for me he bought from a food fair that was held at the school. It was a honey bear filled with locally grown Pomegranate honey.   

As you can see from the picture, it is now empty. The honey was delicious! I tried to make it last as long as I possibly could; partly because it was so yummy and I love honey and partly because it was the last gift Kenny ever bought me. It was very sweet and thoughtful of him~ he knew how much I love honey and I am a big fan of Pooh Bear which made the honey bear all the more special to me--just another example of the kind of person Kenny was, and the sweetness he brought to my life. Who else would ever think to buy me honey?? No one.. I keep thinking I will call the phone number on the label to get more honey but I have not done it yet- I think I will make it a major priority for Monday. Maybe I will call tomorrow> if I keep the bear on the kitchen table it is likely I will remember to call*  



Element of the day (day 101)
#99) Es-Einsteinium-]radioactive: Actinide Series 
Discovered in 1952.
Too rare to have many uses.