64*(more) a note with love from Tricia

I'm feeling better now. I just had a conversation with a loved one who I haven't kept in touch with much but she and her family have been very supportive of my mourning process. I think of her as Aunt Trish 'cause that's what I've always called her. I found a note she gave me a few months ago, shortly before I started this blog actually. I will share what she wrote in the note because it has beautiful words and was an inspiration to me, even though I wasn't quite ready to listen. Her and her daughter, Misty came to check on me on a day during my darkest, darkest days back in July. I was feeling totally hopeless and didn't want to go on living. It was not long after my father-in-law Ken died and the impact of his loss after Kenny's increased my pain to the breaking point of my heart and spirit.  Her words touched a deep spot in my heart. I am deeply, entirely grateful to her.
Here is what she said in her note:
   "Do not let your loss and cloudy thoughts allow you to forget the Gift Kenny was- let his legacy of being funny, doing for others Always before his self and Laughing for no Reason Live On. Make his death have a purpose."

I hope that by creating this blog and sharing mine and Kenny's stories I have been able to honor that request.

Kenny in the snow with his stick-summer 2011

"A human being is part of the whole called by us the Universe, a part limited in time and space. We experience ourselves, our thoughts and feelings as something separate from the rest. A kind of optical delusion of consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty...We shall require a substantially new manner of thinking if mankind is to survive."
                                                             -Albert Einstein
This quote speaks to me because in effect it tells of the experience I am going through by writing this blog. By sharing my mourning and healing process I hope to connect with a higher consciousness in the Universe and maybe touch a few hearts out there in the world. I write with honesty and love, true to my heart in its pain and coming into a place of hope, faith and joy.
   Until tomorrow (or later today,its after midnight).... and as Kenny would say
                                 "PEACE"