59* signs from Kenny

Kenny's memory candle-Sept 2012

Today it is 10months Kenny is gone and there is a full moon tonight. Kenny and I used to go out and look at the full moon when it was really dark outside-- I miss doing that with him very much. 
This morning I tried hard to wake up but I couldn't, I slept till 11am. I have been lighting a large white candle on the 29th day of every month in honor of his memory. I didn't write his notes until early afternoon so it was late when I lit it today. I also hang the yin-yang medallion my brother Matt gave me on it while it is lit. Kenny wore a yin-yang necklace which he left with Vincent to give to his best friend Ben the night before he died. When I told Ben about Kenny's death he asked me if he could have the yin-yang necklace. I was very upset because I didn't know where it was. The officer who identified him and the coroner both said they had found nothing of Kenny's and he didn't have it with him. Vincent's friend Johan had gathered Vin's gang (Johan, Tommy and Rob) and they took him to Tommy's house where they stayed and kept him sane. I don't know what would have happened to Vincent without them,,he might have lost his mind. He and Kenny were so very very close. They hung out in Kenny's room everyday and night until Vincent would go to sleep in his room. Vincent did not sleep at home for several days so we did not know he had the necklace for Ben.
My brother Matt and some of his friends took flashlights to the railroad tracks and looked for it for hours the night 'the crisis' happened. Then they went back the next day. Sometime during the day I heard a whisper in my ear "I took care of it Mom". I remember telling mi Mama what I heard and that I didn't think the yin-yang was at the tracks. After my oldest son Jheremy flew to Fresno from Portland, Vincent's friends brought him home to see Jheremy. Matt was determined to find the necklace for me so I could honor Ben's only request. He and his friends were at the tracks when Vincent came home. Jheremy told him we were looking for the necklace and Vincent pulled it out of his pocket. I was incredibly relieved and then I recalled the whisper in my ear. I believe it was Kenny talking to me. It is the only time I have actually heard his whisper so clearly and real.
As a way to honor Kenny and his yin-yang, my brother Matt bought five yin-yang medallions and had them inscribed with: Kenny Cipolla 10/15/91 to 11/29/11. He gave one to me, Jheremy, Vincent, mi Mama and kept one for himself. It was an extremely touching and thoughtful gesture. Matt wears his on a black cord all the time. It took me several months to find just the right necklace to put it on, but finally I found a beaded chain with gray and black beads that I put it on. I wear it all the time except when I hang it on his monthly memory candle. Last month Kenny's candle turned black on the inside of the glass, it is the only time that has happened and I think it is kind of odd- maybe another sign from Kenny- I don't know.

Kenny's candle-August 2012

Something extraordinary happened in March. My father and stepmom had taken me to New Mexico to see my family. We left on Feb. 27th> I was extremely sad that I wasn't able to light a large candle on the 29th. I had taken tealight candles, and my Aunt Veronica let me light one every day for Kenny while I stayed with her. On Saturday, March 3rd I was visiting my Auntie Rosemary-we were sitting at her kitchen table talking and I told her about my monthly ritual and that my heart was hurting because I hadn't lit a large candle for Kenny while I was in New Mexico. She went to her room and brought out a large, round orange candle and said we could light that in Kenny's memory- another touching gesture from a family member. It meant and still does mean the world to me. My aunt lit the candle and said she would keep it lit except at night in honor of Kenny. I asked her to let me know the day the candle went out and she said she would. On March 23rd I received a text from my aunt that the candle went out. It had stayed lit for exactly 20 days, the same number of years Kenny was alive. I took it as a sign from Kenny that he was present in the spirit world and watching over us- and that he was letting me know by keeping the candle lit for 20 days. Kenny had a thing for candles- he lit them in his room frequently and there are still a few scattered in his room, especially on his t.v. In a way I feel connected to him in those rare moments when it seems he is reaching out to me; but even so, it is nothing at all like having him here in the physical world.
   Until tomorrow, enjoy the full moon...

Element of the day (day 59)
#74) W- Tungsten-] metal  
Beneficial to full health, or thought to be for plants and animals. 
Discovered in 1783 by Juan Jose and Fausto Elhuijar, Spain.
Unaffected by air, acids or bases. Has the highest melting point of any element, often used in alloys that must resist great amounts of heat, such as light-bulb filaments. Also in television tubes, paints, lubricants, tanning leather, fluorescent lighting. In high-strength applications, such as furnaces, missiles, dental drills and other cutting tools.

Chiefly obtained ffrom the minerals scheelite and worlframite from China, Russia, Portugal, Austria and Bolivia. China has about 75% if the world's reserves of tungsten.