143* a new song-

Another sleepless night. Over the past two weeks the nights of sleep become fewer and fewer.

The second anniversary of Kenny's departure has come and gone and with it the loss of another important person in my life. Gone on the same day as Kenny and services the same day two years later.
Coincidence?? Is there any such thing?!!?

As I sit here at 4:30 in the morning I am listening to a song about suicide that someone special shared with me a couple weeks ago. It's a song I had never heard before. Its somewhat uncanny how well it expresses the way I perceive Kenny's pain.

As I have said before Kenny never listened much to music with lyrics but he did like to hear the sound of a piano playing. I have listened to the intro of this song at least a dozen times. Kenny would have loved the beginning and the end. Is that a train roaring down the tracks as part 1 fades away?

The song is 'I Won't See You Tonight' by Avenged Sevenfold

These are the lyrics:

"I Won't See You Tonight (Part 1)"

Cry alone, I've gone away
No more nights, no more pain
I've gone alone, took all my strength
I've made the change,
I won't see you tonight

Sorrow, sank deep inside my blood
All the ones around me
I cared for and loved

It's building up inside of me
A place so dark, so cold, I had to set me free
Don't mourn for me,
You're not the one to place the blame
As bottles call my name I won't see you tonight

Sorrow sank deep inside my blood
All the ones around me
I cared for and most of all I loved
But I can't see myself that way
Please don't forget me or cry while I'm away

Cry alone, I've gone away
No more nights, no more pain
I've gone alone, took all my strength
But I've made the change,
I won't see you tonight

So far away, I'm gone.
Please don't follow me tonight
And while I'm gone everything will be alright

No more breath inside
Essence left my heart tonight
No more breath inside
Essence left my heart tonight

So no breath, no heartache, no pain for him...
Left to me now and forever

At times like these the sorrow only deepens without him,, and it is a sorrow that will never go away-- as the train roars two blocks away.

SERIOUSLY GOD-- WHAT IS THAT ABOUT????????!!!!!!!!!

Until next time