165* Kenny in the snow

Today is Tuesday the 29th of December. It has been 214 weeks since Kenny passed over to the other side*** as I began my day I thought " today is the 29th day of the month on a Tuesday, same as when Kenny died==} how shall I celebrate my son today?"

Quite different than on other 29th days of the month. So I asked Kenny for a sign, something that I could use as inspiration for today's blog entry.

And what should I see when I stride out in the morning? Frost on the grass-- frost on my car!! Now, in some places that may seem quite ordinary; however on the central coast of California it does not typically reach temperatures cold enough to cause frost,, and I have never experienced it before today since I left the valley.                                                      

Kenny (5 yrs) and Vinny (4 yrs) I LOVE THIS PIC!

Jheremy, Uncle Matthew, Vincent, Kenny 1996

From the first time Kenny experienced the wonders of snow he was hooked. I think he was 5 years old. He didn't mind getting bundled up or being soaked after playing in the snow. And, as he was at the beach, Kenny could be in the snow for hours. Running, sledding, spinning on snow discs, making snow balls==any, and all of it was great fun for him. I can hear his childhood laughter now...it's wonderful to remember him happy. 

snow digging? Vincent, Jheremy, Kenny

"Throw that snowball Kenny" 6yrs

snow sliding-- winter 1997

I, on the other hand, was done having fun after about half an hour. I would go sit in the car, teeth shattering, feeling like an icicle>> turn on the heater and try to defrost. I prefer to enjoy the spectacular view of the snow without feeling its effects.
Kenny was a nature lover. In retrospect I think the walls of his room slowly seeped the life out of him. I should have taken him out more. I feel the same happened to me while I was there. Being near the beauty of the ocean has helped me heal, however lonely it gets here.

12/ 22/ 1998 Jheremy, Kenny, Vincent

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One of the most special snow-days in Fresno occurred on December 22, 1998 while I was flying home from New Mexico. It was the day my Grandma Tanis died. Grandma grew up in New Mexico where it snowed every year, and that is where she died. I remember her complaining every winter in Fresno where she then lived; that it never snowed there and she missed the snow very much. Here are a couple of pictures the boy's dad took on that very special snow day. I always say it was a sign from my Grandma Tanis as if she was saying goodbye as the snowflakes fell. 

Is that a glow around Kenny?

Kenny, Ben, Zac- short sleeves in the snow- craziness

 Kenny's love of snow never faded. I often wish he had more snow trips. They became fewer and fewer as he grew older. His last day in the snow was spent with his best friend Ben and Ben's brother Zac. I don't remember if it was his last year of life or the year before, but I believe it was 1991.
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As the time turns to 11:29 p.m. I think of how I accomplished my goal this year with the blog. I started the year wanting to commemorate the 29th of every month with a blog entry. I tried to infuse a bit of Kenny's spirit in every writing and as many picture memories possible.

And, as if Kenny was speaking to me when I turned on my phone after work~ there was this picture via text message from mi Mama~ she is a constant source for uplifting my spirits. I don't know what I would do without her.

 


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 Hopeful is how I am feeling. In fact, I was expressing that exact sentiment to a co-worker today. That, for the first time in many weeks I feel hopeful for the future. Stronger, more sure of myself. Maybe because I survived another year not fully healed-- yet, closer to it or because I  am soon to create a life I truly want to live... I suppose it is yet to be known.

Until next time~*** May your life sparkle as the much as the snow crystals glisten in the sunlight

Kenny's last day in the snow-- sliding down of course...  :)