123* HNY 2013

~~**HAPPY NEW YEAR***2013~~ 

Well-- this is the year for new beginnings. By this time next year I should have a completely transformed life. My leg is healing slowly and so is my heart. Yesterday, I spent the day crying for many reasons and I yelled at God, the world, and Kenny. Today, I thought about all that I want from this life. It is a very lonely place here on this Earth for me now.

Inevitably, it seems I always end up without the people I love. Most of them have crossed over-- someone else whom I love very much is extremely ill and will probably be there soon. Anyway, we are far apart from each other. As it has been for years. Death doesn't seem to have the same effect on me as it once did-- after losing Kenny, there isn't any loss so awful as that of a child. I hurt more that I am away from someone I love while there is still life to live.

I saw Kenny in my dreams again--It was very strange,, I was lost in New Mexico somewhere and it was dark. Then as it was breaking dawn, I was at a gas station in my very own little car with Ravenne. I had been driving alone--but someone was in the back of the car on the phone. I heard someone talking to Ben and it was so bizarre because I could hear my mind say "who could that be? Kenny is dead" then I looked behind my seat and it was a resemblance of Kenny sitting on the back seat of my car looking down at a phone which was much newer and nicer than the one he actually had during life. He didn't look real, but he looked like Kenny--then he floated away and I woke up. That must have been my New Year's Day gift.

Anyway-} I wish all of you a Blessed and Beautiful 2013--} with lots of dreams coming true,, only you can make it happen-} with help from God, Angels, and the Universe**!