Tuesday, November 29, 2016

168* candies, Colbert, and a candle

At midnight, the beginning of this 29th day of November on a Tuesday in the year 2016AD~ I sat on a couch to watch The Late Show with Stephen Colbert. This was one of Kenny's nightly rituals and I'm sure if he were alive now that's what he would have been doing. I hadn't watched it at all this year. The episode turned out to be a re-run from Sept. 20, 2016. The following is a partial excerpt from a segment of the show that had me laughing, and I think Kenny was laughing along with me:
Stephen Colbert slams Donald Trump Jr. over Skittles meme

The host then spoke directly to the camera to address Trump Jr., using candy props to help drive his point home. “Listen up, Airhead. Reducing political problems to candy is Nutrageous. Anyone with an ounce of Smarties is Snickering at you, because you are alienating a lot of Peeps. Where does it end? Do we keep out Swedish Fisherman, or gay couples like Mike & Ike. You’re just trying to Skor a cheap political Payday with this Whooper, Dum Dum.”~~ source (http://www.ew.com/article/2016/09/21/stephen-colbert-donald-trump-jr-skittles)

Normally, I don't post anything political~this is merely for the comedy factor. And it got me thinking about which of those candies Kenny liked eating. Colbert mentioned three of Kenny's favorites and another that he ate often, mostly because they were almost always in our candy jar. (A Mexican bean pot that has been packed away for far too long)

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However,, before I go there-- let me share a little about this year's blog adventure, or shall I say "lack there of ?" There's been very little opportunity to write this year. It is something which has; at times ridden me with extreme guilt, especially on Kenny's 25th birthday. At that time I did not have a working computer so blog writing was not an option. Last week, my laptop was put into commission again!!! :) :) :) Thanks to Vincent and a little divine intervention I think. Anyway, since then I have been re-reading many of my past entries. Back to the beginning> and I think I shall try to reinstate the 'Random Topic' as often as possible because it fits  Kenny's personality so well and there seems to be a bit of him missing.
[--- RANDOM TOPIC ---] CANDIES 
Kenny's fave Peeps
As earlier stated, Colbert mentioned four candies Kenny thoroughly enjoyed. I will start with the one he ate least often, as it is a seasonal candy.
1) Peeps> Kenny was a big fan of marshmallow-- he loved rice krispie treats and smores. He rarely ate chocolate candy unless it was melted with marshmallows and graham crackers. He was highly excited when Halloween peeps came into existence. Late childhood I think? Maybe the tween years...(:^/)

??? Of course his fave

2) Airheads> I remember well the Airheads faze. Kenny and Vincent would buy 6 packs all the time and Kenny was always most happy if he got the white mystery flavor. Naturally that would be his favorite, as was the random button on video game selections. Was it the element of surprise he enjoyed?
from the candy jar...

 3) Smarties> I can't say any of us loved these candies, but I can say we could not keep them in the candy jar. They are so tiny, tart, and easy to pop into your mouth. Quite addicting for sure! I started out buying one bag weekly to put in the jar and within a month it was two bags, then three. Three rolls at a time- that's how to eat them...
All time favorite

4) Swedish Fish> I can't remember where Kenny first tried these- school? party? Ben? But I remember him eating them all the time when we would watch t.v. shows together or 'Harry Potter' movies}- practically the only movies he would ever watch. At the time I was a Red Vine fanatic, but one night I didn't have any and Kenny offered me some of his favorite candy. I mean, they were the right color so I gave them a try. I was not an immediate fan, although it didn't take too many tries. Now they are one of my faves also. In fact, I've been eating them as I have been typing.
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Time is flying~~~~~ so I will continue. 
This is the corner of a shelf where I keep the few mementos of Kenny's that I have here with me. His table is still at mi Mama's as I have no place of my own. His wallet, peace sign and a small jar with his ashes are kept close together. I have found a few feathers the last few months so I added them. Today, I took out his senior pic from
his wallet and made a small display in his memory. And I was finally able to light a candle for him. The first candle lighting since I moved to the coast. I had some trouble getting the wick to stay lit. I had to light it three times and was about to burst into full tear mode so I closed my eyes and sat on the bed asking him to give me a sign with the candle that he was here. When I opened my eyes the flame was shining bright and I took this picture. The candle is burnt but the flame is still bright.

As each of the past five years have been, this one has been extremely challenging. I feel as if I have not been very alive except in very short periods of time. I have given up hope so many times, especially in the last six weeks. I know I have missed dozens of signs because my faith has been low. Yet, I survived another year. For me, getting through a year means living through November 29th. There were tears and headaches and everyday difficulties,but I made it through. And I was able to complete the two tasks I wanted the most. To honor my son's memory with a blog entry and a candle.

For inspiration and hope Kenny's beautiful spirit gave me a flame to light my way... and this feather I found after going to fetch my landlady's dog across the street at the neighbors.
A feather from heaven 11/29/16

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As another 29th of November comes to an end- I am grateful for the healing power of this blog. It might not always meet my expectations>>> the stories may not always flow>>> but my heart feels slightly more healed with every entry,, and my spirit just a bit more renewed. It is the strongest connection I have with Kenny, a place for me to remember the best times of my life, and to share them with whoever happens to read.
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Oh! I almost forgot today's fortune. Also, in memory of Kenny I ate a bowl of noodles, rice, and orange chicken. He loved orange chicken. His favorite place was called Cal Wok back home. It's no longer in business- we went there fairly regularly so there was sadness when I heard it had closed. I don't eat fortune cookies so; in keeping with our practice, I broke open the fortune cookie, set it aside and read the fortune. Seems fitting enough:
Until next time... a sign of peace~ a wish for hope, happiness, faith, and most of all love~ 


 















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