159* WHITE LIGHT/ BLACK SHADOW

I still Miss Kenny every day...
                                     However, I don't feel broken anymore.  I don't feel whole either. Someplace in between.  Putting the pieces together like a puzzle.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Speaking of puzzles....
     Kenny's best friend's family completed an awesome puzzle this summer that Kenny would absolutely Love!! It's The Periodic Table Of The Elements.
   Putting together puzzles has been one of my favorite activities as long as I can remember. I hadn't done a puzzle since the summer my brother died. I stayed indoors and worked on puzzles nearly that entire summer watching 'Snapped' and 'Investigation Discovery'. 
    Working at summer camp this summer> I put together puzzles with my students. Fairly simple ones-- no more than 300 pieces. Seeing my friend's post of the completed puzzle inspired me. And, since I have the house to myself for a few days, I bought a puzzle for the first time in many years.
   It's fabulous! 750 pieces, which is acceptable for a five day project. One of my very favorite literary characters....and  his friends. 

Unfortunately, I've been so tired the last few days that I've only managed to sort pieces and complete the border. 
I will have to put more effort into it starting tomorrow.
    I absolutely love this puzzle. I'm a huge Pooh Bear fan and I'm pleased that Thomas Kinkade created a Disney collection. I have a few of his landscape puzzles but I didn't want another one, and to my surprise I found this at my first stop.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Currently, I am listening to classical music. It has become a habit of mine while I write the blog if I am lucky enough to have the house to myself. 

I used my Kenny Angel mouse-pad today for the first time since I left the home where I lived with my three amazing sons. It's very strange not having a home after being in the same place for 16 years. It is the longest amount of time I had ever been in the same place. I am extremely grateful I was able to share a home with my boys. I don't know if life will ever be that good again. The greatest joy in my life is being a mom,, and holding that bond close to my heart.
<3   <3   <3   <3   <3   <3   <3   <3   <3   <3   <3   <3   <3   

  MY  STORY   OF  BLACK  AND  WHITE  

  One of my lasted editions:phone case 

 

   My black and white craze  began several months  after  Kenny died. I think it truly  began when I was  packing  his clothes. I didn't want to  throw or give away most of  his clothes so my dearest  sweetest  friend suggested I  make a quilt with some of  them. 
   Of course I thought it was  a fabulous idea (which I  have yet to complete) so  I started to put clothes   aside that I would later use for his quilt. Kenny was   very much into black jeans. That's almost all he   wore,  however he owned one pair of white jeans he  hardly wore. I came up with the idea of making a  checkered quilt with his jeans and alternating pieces  with some of his black and white shirts and boxers.          Then I  found the essential yin-yang patch. It  made  me think of conversations Kenny and I had  during  the time he was doing independent study for  school. 
We talked of harmony, balance in life, and karma.  He was interested in learning my views and I  enjoyed  sharing my knowledge. Sometimes he even  agreed  with my thoughts. It was then, as I sat on the  rug at  the entrance of his closet packing his  clothes  that I first paid  attention  to  Kenny's interest of  black and white.  Very soon  after,  I began a  collection of sorts in  black  & white. I was wearing  Kenny's shirts for months after he passed. They  were  all black. Then I started getting black and  white socks, hair accessories, bandannas, and other  odds and ends. Most of which are packed. In the  past  year> my craze has gotten crazier! I am loving  all things black and white, especially if it has stripes.  Why stripes? I'm not sure. Maybe, it's the  representation of the balance of the two. 
    Anyhow, in the past few months I was thinking of  the connection of Kenny's life with black and white  in terms of lightness and darkness. Kenny was a   bright light on this Earth. He never knew in life how  special of a gift that was. His soul was the white  light-  his mind the black shadow. I think he  understood that resemblance in his life and that was  why he was drawn to the contrast of the two shades  of non-color. A different and separate existence  from  all the colors of the rainbow. He had the black  closet and black curtains with white walls in his  room. He had one black and one white light-bulb on  his ceiling. I know there were other examples but I  can't remember them now.  
   And now, I carry on the tradition of black and  white. Not for the same reasons. Partly in memory of  him and partly as a reminder that it takes extremes  in life to learn the lessons and have a survival story.  So far,, this is my survival story. 
   As an example, here is the hat I wear most often. I had it while Kenny  was alive. I wore it then, although not nearly as  much. Ben gave me the button a long while after  Kenny left us. This hat is the perfect place for it. 

   Also, I've become a bit obsessed with black and white clothing. I wear at least one outfit a week that is strictly black and white, including shoes. I have three pairs of black boots, an old pair of black high tops with checkered shoelaces and a new pair of Vans with mini-checkered shoelaces. 

  SHIRTS,  DRESSES,  SOCKS,  HAT,  INTIMATES & VAN'S  

""""::"""::"""::"""::"""::"""::"""::"""::"""::"""::"""::"""::"""
   In closing >-}  To Kenny ~  

   Until next time...   
                   As Kenny would do