121* gifts,, and survival

It is December 5, 2012. One year ago, we gathered together to say good-bye to Kenny. Today was nearly as difficult a day. I was emotionally on overdrive and physically in pain. I did not expect to be so overcome with sadness and I did expect to accomplish many things which I didn't. I think I must let go of expectations, for they always seem to be wrong.

I have decided to continue the blog with an entry on the 29th of each month for the next year. In addition, I will continue to light a candle in Kenny's memory on the 29th of each month. I still have much work to do on my healing path. I have made tremendous progress from a year ago to now. I am rekindling my spiritual awareness and healing the hole in my heart. I am curious as to how it will all unfold and look forward to sharing my personal journey of surviving the tragedy of losing my beloved son.

I feel close to Kenny once again; although not quite in the same way. I feel as if Kenny has given me the gift of survival and indeed it is a rare and precious gift. I feel blessed-- I thank G-d, the Universe, the Angelic realm, and my soul for pulling me through all my dark, dark hours. But most of all I thank my son Kenny for allowing me to love him so much in life that I did not come to hate him in death. He is just as special to me now as he always has been from the day he was born. In a strange way that is also a gift- having known him from the day he was born until the day he died. I cannot say that of any other human I have known in this lifetime. 

Until December 29th...
   Love, Peace, and Blessings to all

~*~*~ gifts ~*~*~*

this is a pin that Ben gave me because it kinda looks like a yin-yang. it is very cool- I like it lots and it is going on my favorite 
hat--} THANK YOU BEN!!    

this is a vile that Eliora gave to me. I filled it with Kenny's ashes-- I hope to make it into a bracelet so I can have Kenny near me anytime I want. results to come in the 
future--} THANK YOU ELIORA!!

These two next pictures are from the happiest times in Kenny's life so I feel it is important to include them in his blog.    

-*Ben, Kenny, Callie, Amy- BHS class of 2010*-

                     

--On a hike-Kenny w/stick, Ben, Zac--summer 2011--