Connecting with Kenny: July 2014

It's been a long time since I've written a blog entry. It almost feels like I'm starting all over.
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Today is Tuesday the 29th of July so it felt significant to write because it was Tuesday the 29th the day Kenny died-- its been 32 months/ 139 weeks now without my Kenny.

My pile of feathers has increased greatly over the last few months. After finding dozens of feathers that are gray and black or a combo thereof, I started to ask Kenny about a month ago to leave me a blue feather as a sign that he is watching over me.

It took a few weeks and then a couple Saturdays ago, as I was cleaning dead leaves out of the flower bed that I found this baby blue feather. I tried to capture the blue in a picture but it didn't come out that well.

this tiny feather is so cute!and it really is half blue. Kenny must've known it wouldn't show in a pic because yesterday morning as I was walking Ravenne I found another blue feather-- looks like it came right off a blue jay. It was laying in the grass near a tree Ravenne was sniffing so I took a pic of it right there on the ground.

this feather shows the blue so I guess Kenny answered my request twice. I'm going to have a replica of the baby blue as part of my next tattoo in memory of Kenny...

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The Dunes: Kenny's ashes

One of Kenny's favorite places to run around was at the dunes of Grover Beach; that is where I went today to spread some of his ashes and to talk to my son. The broken bits of his bones landed across the sand in a footprint pattern as if he were running in the it.While I was there I found a stick that was partially burned- it was just the kind of stick Kenny would have liked so I used it to dig a small hole to lay his ashes in...

jar with Kenny's ashes 7/29/14

stick I found laying on sand

before I buried ashes in the sand...

bottle cap as found in the sand

I sat on the sand for a very long time after I buried and spread a part of Kenny in the dunes he loved. I talked to Kenny asking for a sign that he was there with me. It was strange because I felt that he was with me but not around me. After a long while I felt the sensation to get up and start walking through the dunes. When you walk in the middle of the dunes where the sand is lower its like being in the middle of the desert because the ocean is hidden by the small hills. In my mind I asked Kenny to lead the way and this is where he led me. I was following the middle path when my son Jheremy called me so I stopped. We talked for a little bit so I turned back- my feet were burning in the hot sand so I dropped my flip flops to put them on looking down into the gravely ground. That is when I saw it. A bottle cap- a golden bottle cap perfectly shaped sitting alone atop the golden grains of sand. I have never seen a bottle cap with a saying like this one. I read the saying and thought to myself this is something Kenny would have thought about himself so it must be a sign from Kenny. Then I took a picture and put it in my pouch.When I return home later in the week I will add it to his collection... I have to believe that his spirit is still with me, that the bond of love between us can never be broken regardless of how long he is gone. It doesn't mend my heart but it does warm my soul....